My Stupid Weekly Newsletter No. 1

it's the apocalypse. She's making a weekly (hopefully weekly xD) newsletter. Everyone grab your pitchforks and stakes. It's time for the hunt. Since this is the first one i won't be too subject to stuff. I'll mostly talk about stuff that's going on in the news and give my "unbiased" opinion on it. like that's possible.

NEW YORK RETIRES LAST MECHANICAL PARKING METER

This article made it into the new york times? how lame can you get? no, of course not, there's not a war going on in Iraq, people being shot daily, children being raped and mothers crying. That's why we're putting in stories about mechanical parking meters. Oh, you're grandma just got shot by the police? we don't care to put that in the news because we have to have a five hundred page article about mechanical parking meters and the difference between lead and iron and which one works better with copper pennies.

U.S. SEES PROGRESS IN TALKS WITH NORTH KOREA

Alright, we've tried to stop North Korea from making nuclear weapons before, what makes us think that they want to comply now? North Korea wants our heads on silver platters. I don't exactly think that they will say, "Hey sure, we'll stop making bombs for you Americans!" Yeah. Not going to work. Who knows? it might be a feign. They might say they'll stop making nuclear weapons and then like, start producing them behind the scenes and then bomb us when we're unawares. Besides, it's not too good when your president can't say "nuclear" correct either. Not a plus for our side.

CHINA TIGHTENS ADOPTION RULES FOR FOREIGNERS

I'm actually, pretty unbiased about this article, to say in the least. it's an amazing feat. I think that some of the rules for adopting a child are good ones, especially the ones about being physcologically okay with having an adopted child. China wants the best parents for their "citizens." They want the cream of the crop. the super mom and super dad you've always heard about but you sadly never have those types of parents. One thing i don't get is, China is the number one leading country in forced abortions. Now they're having problems with too many parents from America wanting Chinese children to adopt. Isn't irony a bitch?

Well, i don't feel like talking about anything else, it's getting tedious and i'm hungry. I'm going to go eat some cheez-its and uncooked ramen. have fun everyone. enjoy your first installment of my wonderful but oddly stupid newsletter. Keep it rolling, folks.

XxKid Don't CryxX